How did you meet Dad? When did you know you loved him? When did you know you wanted to marry him?1/17/2022
I think from our first date, I've always loved your Dad! I met your Dad at Twality Junior High - he sat in front of me in Mr. Tunnel’s English class and was just about the weirdest boy I’d ever met. He was cute - in a sort of bad-boy way because his hair was longer than mine - and he was smart but definitely a rebel. His rebel ways never got him in trouble since he was so smart and funny - and could charm the teachers. But everyone knew Matt was subversive even if we didn’t know that was the word for how he just got away with so many little things. Rules were obviously more guidelines to work around than the solid boundaries everyone else lived within. And he was funny. Smart-funny, not the class clown. He was also kind and passionate about fairness - about life being fair for everyone.
He was unconventional in so many ways which is saying something for the ‘70s: he wore off-white pants which laced up in the back and a rock from the Acropolis on necklace. And he was always moving - even in his seat he was twisting around to talk to me or his legs were pulled up in between his chest and the desktop; I remember he would sit up on the back of the chair whenever there were group discussions. (Hmmm - he was the adolescent version of Arlo’s constant motion.) And he was constantly wiggling the retainer/spacer in his mouth. I think that was what got to me most - I mean who constantly pushes around the thing in your mouth so everyone can see it? One day I’d had enough of him when he turned around and said to me “Your eyebrows look like my brother Paul’s when he opened the oven door and singed them off.” He was simply stating a fact as he saw it - no meanness intended, but who says that to a 13-year-old girl? So, I reached up to my earring and slowly pulled it out of my ear - you see, I knew his weakness was squeamishness. He really did not like the idea of a piece of metal moving back and forth in a hole in your earlobe - he was quiet for long-time after that move, let me tell you. Junior High School was 7th, 8th and 9th grades in those days. So by the time we got to high school we were already hanging out in the same friends’ group. I’m not sure what you would have called our eclectic mish-mash of friends - really smart kids, drama-kids, sports-kids, music-kids - we all just hung out together at lunch and did things together after school, especially when we got to high school. And I don’t think we were very cliquey since the group was quite broad and fluid in comings and goings. We also were in the same youth group at Portland Baptist Church - especially the youth choir. Over the years we performed at Christmas-time and traveled to California a couple of times to sing in churches. Can you imagine a Greyhound bus full of adolescents traveling to California and back? I started dating Matt the summer between our Junior and Senior years: we had planned to go on a double-date to Cannon Beach with our own dates at the beginning of summer vacation, but our dates decided they did not want to go! We went anyway - it wasn’t a date, just a trip to the beach. While we’d hung around in the same friends’ group, I don’t remember being particularly attracted or drawn to your Dad before this trip; he was just one of the boys in our group. But we talked and talked and talked all day; and your Dad flirted with me. I think it surprised me that one of the smartest, funniest and most unconventional boys would flirt with me who was definitely one of the quieter, conventional girls in the group. We kissed at the beach and held hands on the way home. And started spending a lot of time together over the summer. Matt spent so much time at my house that my Mom grew annoyed that he would leave his swim trunks and decided to sew the legs up - I’m not sure what this prank was supposed to do, but it did result in some ongoing, good-natured tricks between the two for some time. Navigating a relationship while going to different colleges was difficult. We broke up for a short period, but by the time I had decided to leave school in Monmouth after my first semester we were back on track. I had returned home to find a job and go part-time to PSU and during that summer Matt proposed - it was very sweet. We decided to take a year from school to plan a wedding and then returned to University of Oregon in the fall of 1980. I think from our first date, I’ve always loved you Dad. He’s smart, funny, kind and just far enough outside conventional to keep me interested. He’s also a bit stubborn, which I like even when it’s annoying. Of course the love has grown deeper and hopefully, more life-giving to both of us - young love can be exhausting. Comments are closed.
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