 NASA, Starburst Cluster Shows Celestial Fireworks, NGC 3603, July 2010 Take the win!When our Grand-Bursts-of-Stardust visit our home, their sweet little brains and bodies act like it's a vacation - and I love it! Hopefully, we are creating crazy-cake-love filled core memories to last them a lifetime. Yet, I am always surprised by their delight: walks to the local park, a swim at the Aquatics Center, playing games, puzzles, the same nighttime routine with their favorite books at every sleepover - these are not really vacation-quality activities. Still, I'll take the win! While also trying to avoid the trap of vacation-crashing my Daughters' boundaries & rock-solid rules. On the same pageOne of the best, pull-me-up-short things to hear from my sweet, little Starbursts is something along the lines of "Mamma said..." It's a great opportunity to check my Nonna instincts in a stop-and-listen conversation with whichever Grandchild is reminding me that I may be off-base in honoring their Mom's rules. What I really don't want my own Bursts-of-Stardust to hear from their offspring is "But, Nonna said..." Children need - well, just about everyone needs - consistency as they are navigating the world. Grandparents can best help their Grandchildren learn these skills by being on the same page with their adult children who are raising kiddos in a world far different from the one in which we parented. Easy marksNow, as their Nonna, I may have a slightly different perspective on boundaries with my sweet Grand-Bursts-of-Stardust experiencing a nuanced bit-of-give to Mom's rules at our house. (Yeah, in simple words - when we are spoiling them!) They also see us modeling respect for their Mom when we say, "What does your Mom say about this?" This simple little question - especially if we already know the answer to the boundary in question - lets said Starbursts know we know... Sometimes I think we must look like easy marks. Okay, we are easy marks. Crazy-cake loveAs an easy mark, it is important to frequently check-in with my Daughters about their hopes & dreams for, as well as the challenges facing, their children. I want them to know that I am here as their trustworthy back-up, someone who honors their hard work as Moms. I want my own precious Bursts-of-Stardust to know I know I am an easy mark for their children. And I welcome being called on vacation boundary-crashing. Hopefully, you are able to call out your parents when they've crashed through one of your serious, rock-hard boundaries. Just remember loving your kiddos like crazy-cakes reduces us to astoundingly easy marks. Kiddos need lots of cazy-cake love!
|