What If?
Toni Morrison certainly had a way of doing language. When she wrote in 2004 "No Place for Self-Pity, No Room for Fear," the Iraq War had begun and the political atmosphere was filled with conflict and division. Sound familiar? Morrison's essay is encouraging - and, unfortunately, as pertinently scathing - 20 years later.
Morrison was writing to artists to speak out, to create, to bring healing to this division through their work. I think Morrison may have unintentionally left listening out of "do language" because artists reflexively listen to the culture around them. But what if? What if we substituted "people" for "artists"? How would we listen, speak, write, do language in our day-to-day lives to bring healing in the midst of division? Fearing Aliens - oh, wait. I meant Neighbors.
Are our neighbors aliens from an extraterrestrial world?
People, it's only been two and half years - March, 2022 - since we began the return to normalcy after the pandemic closures. But the election clearly indicates we don't know each other - if we ever did. We do not really know our neighbors and we treat them as if they are aliens from another planet whom we must fear. The pandemic drew into sharp relief the value of making space in our lives for others. Spending time with family and friends, chatting with acquaintances, being politely friendly with the cashier were all things I took for granted in the before times. After months of avoiding most social situations - picking up pre-ordered groceries or buying things online, and generally keeping to a very close circle of people - my social graces were somewhat rusted. I think this may have been true for many people. But something else also happened along the way. We became afraid - more so than before. Fear cuts through - no, it annihilates - civil discourse. Being afraid hampers listening, speaking, writing, doing language. We focused too much on our own safety. We spent too much time listening to and reading like-minded people. Our circles of online communities became as "small" as our physical communities. We developed habits that kept us intellectually isolated once we emerged from the pandemic - all of which provided space in our hearts and minds for the hardening of our differences. Add in the growth of misinformation, aka lies, across the spectrum in our news and social media and it is no wonder we feel like we are living in two different countries. It is no wonder we fear others who are different. It's no wonder we don't do language with our neighbors who are different from us. Talking is Only Half of Doing Language
As a child, I loved watching the original Star Trek series -- Uruha was my favorite -- because I could imagine a place bigger than my family and life. I certainly didn't understand everything I saw on Star Trek, but the idea of space where I could meet new people became a part of my Boomer psyche.
Space. Something greater and beyond me. A place of unknowns. Maybe dangerous, but maybe wonderful. Definitely foreign. All the crew had to do was risk everything once a week "to seek out new life and new civilizations." Aside from James T. Kirk's reactionary response to many of the crew's situations -- which made for good television -- the series' basic concept of looking for and communicating with different civilizations is a pretty good metaphor for where we find ourselves now. Oh. And the reason Uruha was my favorite? Uruha was all about communicating -- I understood talking -- with new people! My 8-year-old little heart loved the idea that talking with aliens was cool. And that 8-year-old heart is still with me. And yet... It's taken a life-time to really understand that the most important aspect of doing language is listening. Uruha was always listening - in the vast silence of space, she was the only one on the show who was always listening. She wanted to hear those voices unfamiliar to her ears. Just in Time for Holiday Dinners
After the election, holiday dinners are going to be even more difficult than we may be able to imagine - choose wisely how you will interact with family. As parents, you know you are modeling behavior during what could be the creation of core memories for your children. You also know that listening is your first wise choice when sibling-squabbles are brought to you for mediation - use this same skill, same attitude with your adult family members!
Perhaps it's time to adopt such a listening stance with all of our neighbors? If Toni Morrison was with us now, what would she write? Perhaps she would simply reiterate her essay closing: "I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge—even wisdom." Nonna
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