Beyond Winning & Losing

Photo by Cyrus Crossan on Unsplash

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Post-Election Parenting

Democracy in the United States is the longest-running-government-by-the-people-experiment in the world. There are ups and downs, wins and losses regardless of your political beliefs or goals. And our own history will show us that a minority of voters have time and again attempted to subvert the will of the majority - don't get me started on the reasons we have an electoral college.

It is possible, following November 5th Election Day results you, and your children, may

• cope with BIG post-election emotions
  
• want answers to some big questions about what happens next, and
  
• look for ways to empower your voice.
  

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Big Post-Election Emotions

How do we address really BIG post-election feelings? Whether it's negative or positive, what are some simple ways to help yourself and your child?

Create space and time to talk about you or your child's feelings.

• Talking through our feelings helps us to see they are normal - it is normal to have big feelings one way or another.
• Talking about feelings also helps us to name what is important to us and why we feel in such a big way.
• Talking about our feelings helps us to understand that all feelings are acceptable, while not all behaviors are acceptable.

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What Happens Next?

When Boss was teaching our daughters to drive he had a first rule:

• Keep your eyes on the road.

The first rule of parenting?

• Keep your eyes on your child's safety - everything else is based on this first rule. EVERYTHING.

If you are uncertain about what happens next, don't lie to yourself or your kiddos - it's best to avoid an "everything will be fine" sentiment.  Yes, I firmly believe our democracy is resilient, but in this case it may not be fine - it may be a dumpster fire!  But our job as parents it to make sure our children - big & little  - know we will keep them safe even if we have to figure it out as we go.

First Parenting Rule in Action:

• Tell your child your job is to keep them safe. And tell them as often as they need to hear it.

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Your Voice Matters: Empowerment & Agency

If we are disappointed & despondent over election results, what can we do? Government policies impact our lives in so many ways, it can be overwhelming when our candidate loses. But remember you have a voice in democracy! (And if your candidate wins, then these suggestions and ideas can keep the momentum going while your child develops their own sense of power to control their life.)

First, remind yourself that democracy is resilient as long as we are willing to put our actions on the line. Then, identify the issues or concerns important to you, to your family. Civil and human rights activism has a long history in our nation even when moving forward quickly is not always guaranteed. And finally, the big question now is what will you do - what will your activism look like?

Climate change?

• Your child doesn't need to be a child-activist like Licypriya Kangujam to make a difference in climate change - perhaps they simple need to be in charge of all the recycling in your home or join your local Bike Bus movement.

Equity/Social Justice Concerns?

• Help your children learn more about social justice issues through podcasts specifically for kiddos; a good place to start is Rebekah Gienapp's list of 11 anti-bias podcasts for children.
  
• Or your child could start a social justice club at school; if the school doesn't have clear guidelines for how to do this, check out SPLC's Learning for Justice suggestions.

What about Homelessness?

• Your kiddo could participate in donation drives - putting together hygiene, school supply kits or a warm-clothing drive.
• Volunteering as a family at a shelter or food pantry is another idea.
• If local government is of interest, check with your city counselors to find out where your community is headed in terms of homelessness and how you can participate.

Certainly these are not even near all the issues which are in need of attention in our country, just ideas to get you thinking. What is important is that children learn that doing something meaningful in the face of loss and frustration will give them agency - it will also make them feel better.

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It may be hard, but you've got this,                  

Nonna